Making Lives Simpler Newsletter

Practical News and Tips
For Living the Life
You Truly Desire

May 2004 Volume 8 Issue 2

IN THIS ISSUE:

I. I Thought I Had Time For You - But I Don't
II. Five Quick Tips
III. References
IV. VRSelfHelp.com News

I. I THOUGHT I HAD TIME FOR YOU - BUT I DON'T

It began with the staff at my doctor's office, who had not done this before. They started calling me to remind me of my appointment withthem a day ahead of time. Then my hairdresser began doing the samething. Soon my dentist started calling with a day-ahead reminder. Ibegan to wonder what I might have done wrong. Sure, there've been somerare occasions when I was caught in a bit of traffic, but even then I've never been over 5 minutes or so late. So I asked them. Why thisnew policy of calling me to be sure I remembered my appointments? WhatI heard was sad. Apparently there is an epidemic of people who thoughtthey had time for someone but they didn't. They constantly make appointments but never show up or even bother to call to cancel or reschedule.

No-showing has become so commonplace that reminder calls have now become a way of life, not only with the medical community but with just about anybody who provides a service requiring a prearranged time at their office. It costs businesses a lot of money these days to have people no-show and take up a time when someone else could have been served.

We've all heard complaints about waiting for a doctor - I've complained in the past, too. As we've all become busier, we're very sensitive to those times we're kept waiting. Our time is valuable, we lament. And yes, the time of the professional we've arranged to see at a specific time is valuable as well.

Personal case in point: As many of you remember from the last newsletter, I recently organized a wonderful birthday weekend for my husband's special leap- year birthday. I spent a lot of time creating and planning to make this festivity special. Many events were planned; many contractual commitments had to be made. There was a financial investment involved based on the number of people who would attend the different activities and to account for the right amount of foods stuffs and treats. To better estimate and calculate, I requested an RSVP with each invitation.

I was a bit surprised that some people never responded. The day following my requested RSVP reply date, I sent a follow-up email or a made phone call to make sure the invitation had been received and to try and find out if they would or would not be a part of the weekend's good times. In some instances, even these e-mails were not answered; and a few voice messages were not returned. Then there were the people who did inform me they were going to attend, but never showed up. (By the way - they don't know what they missed - we had a great time!)

We all have good intentions and sometimes stuff happens; so how can we do a better job of staying on top of our commitments? How does a professional do a better job of scheduling to equally honor the customer's time? I know some people thrive on the adrenaline rush of just being busy. Don't forget, busyness also has a cost associated with it. It can cost you time, energy, health, money and the ability to have times when you just have plain old fun! It might even be costing you the things that are important to you in your life.

Perhaps some of the problem is merely a byproduct of today's environment of impersonal customer service that doesn't resolve an issue, pre-written form letters touting a great offer that's "ideal" for us, and the pressure of insurance companies on doctors to spend less time with each patient. We all need to take a moment and realize the time of every one of us has value and is important. It only takes a short while to acknowledge another's time, whether it's personal or professional, and to extend the courtesy of letting them know we appreciate their gift of making time in their life available to us.

Start to take back control of your schedule and your commitments today. And remember, this is a process, not a project. It is one step at a time, one activity at a time. It's time to change your life so that you don't have to send out messages like this one I received a few days after the birthday party:

" I'm so sorry we missed Chuck's B'day Bash.....I honestly have been so busy with everything else in my life that my focus on what is really important has blurred. Please pass along my regrets to Chuck."

Warmly,
Linda

II. 5 QUICK TIPS FOR SHOWING UP

1. Use a calendar, day planner, or other time organizing tool to write down all of the commitments in your life. Include work and regular appointments, driving time to get to your appointments, family time, personal time, exercise time and more. This will give you visual look at your schedule before you say yes to more activities.

2. Now that you have a visual look at your week, or month are you satisfied with the way you spend your time? Are there things you might want to eliminate or adjust in the future? Where have you said "yes" when you really wanted to say "no!"

3. Decide what's truly important to you. If your answer is family time, decide what type of time you want together, not how much. For example, if you want time to be with your kids, is that time to talk? Play? Watch them participate in an activity? What does being with someone mean to you?

4. Remember to include other important areas such as your own health or personal development. You can't be there for others if you're not " being there" for yourself first. To be truly effective, you need balance, and your schedule can help you create and maintain it.

5. Start by scheduling all of the things that are important to you into your schedule first. If you see you have to reschedule or cancel something, it's OK to do this ahead of time, things change. Consider the true possibility that you really do have control over your time and you can plan your day differently!

"Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some."- Robert Fulghum from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned inKindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things" by Robert Fulghum

" The relationships we have with the world are largely determined by the relationships we have with ourselves."
- Greg Anderson from "The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness" by Greg Anderson

"Time is a finite resource and we all place infinite demands on it. I view time as an opportunity, as a chance to make choices about how I spend that resource -- because it is our choice. And that's something people often forget."
- Maggie Wilderotter from "Unit of One," Fast Company, May 2000.

III. REFERENCES

"7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey
http://www.simplifylife.com/readmore.html

The best-selling guide to personal fulfillment and professional success. Guided by Covey's remarkable step-by-step program, readers will find more meaning and satisfaction in relationships, be better able to achieve personal and professional goals--and can look forward to lasting happiness and success.

To find more resources, go to
http://www.simplifylife.com/reference.html

IV. VRSELFHELP.COM NEWS

The Virtual Reality Self-Help Center is very happy to announce the addition of Online Classes to our program offerings. These classes will allow participants to obtain cost-effective class material and information online as well as the opportunity to interact with experts all over the world. They will also be able to communicate with other participants and obtain guidance from the facilitator via an online discussion board.

A wide variety of additional classes will be coming in the future. Those listed below are available for registration NOW! Just click on the link with each description to get more details and put the class in your shopping cart.

Remember, you don't have to be a VRSelfHelp.com member to participate in any of our programs, so give us a try!

Winning Over Stress Online Class
by Thomas Cobb, M.A., M.F.T.
8 Sessions

Stress, tightness, anxiety, a sense of urgency and discomfort are familiar to most of us, but when these symptoms become chronic it is time to learn techniques to reverse the effects of stress. This class is designed to teach you how to counteract the effects of stress, return your body to normal functioning and decrease the physical and emotional distress you feel.

Taming Your Mind, The Key to Enjoying Yourself Online Class
by Phyllis Grannis , M.A. , M.F.T.
8 Sessions

Do you notice that you often feel like you can't do anything without the constant negative dialogue in your head? Always critical, sabotaging your best efforts? Do you wonder if "peace of mind" was just a meaningless phrase coined by someone who did not live in the real world? Or would you just like to enjoy life more without spending thousands of dollars on therapy and self-help books?

Headache Reduction Training Online Class
by Thomas Cobb , M.A., M.F.T.
8 Sessions

The Headache Reduction Training is a noninvasive, effective online training class. Scientific literature has long supported relaxation and home training for solving the problem of chronic headaches. Now, this accessible, proven, comprehensive program is available to train you in methods of relaxation, stress reduction and new behaviors to correct faulty habits that are responsible for triggering many types of chronic headaches.

MORE ABOUT "MAKING LIVES SIMPLER"

Linda Manassee Buell is a full-time Personal and Business Coach, and author of the tips booklet, "Simplify Your Life, 101 Ways to Create the Life You Love," the audiotape, "Simplify Your Life, 7 Simple Strategies for Doing What You Love to Do," the revised edition of the workbook, "Simplify Your Life: A Journey of Personal Discovery," and her latest book, "Panic and Anxiety Disorder, 121 Tips, Real-life Advice, Resources & More." She is also the President and Executive Director of The Virtual Reality Self-Help Center, vrselfhelp.com, an Internet- based resource center for mental well-being.

To order your personal copy of any of the above by check or credit card, just go to http://simplifylife.com and click on "Shop the Store."

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The contents herein are solely the opinions of Simplify Life and Linda Manassee Buell.

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