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Practical News and Tips
for Living the Life
You Truly Desire

In This Issue:

I. The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

II. Five Quick Tips

III. Their Quotes

IV. References

I. THE PRIZE WINNER OF DEFINACE, OHIO

Most of us are all too aware that when we have a negative thought, it doesn't just come and then go away. Negative thoughts seem to pop up at any time of day or night, fester and often grow. Wouldn't our lives be a lot simpler if we were able to keep our brains free of negative thoughts in the first place?

Well, I'm "positive" that we can! We can learn and put into practice breathing techniques, distraction techniques, even meditation. All of these tools help us stay centered and let go of those negative thoughts and the accompanying energy they demand. However, if we didn't have negative thoughts in the first place, wouldn't that be even better?

I know it's not easy to do. For me, it seems that allowing negative thoughts to take up residence in my consciousness has been a long time habit. Breaking this habit is something I work on all of the time. It's also something that several of my coaching clients are working on as well.

Recently, I found inspiration in the life of Evelyn Ryan, the "Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio." Her daughter Terry wrote the 2001 best-selling memoir with that title about her mother's life. I wasn't familiar with her story until I recently rented the 2005 movie based on her book by DreamWorks Pictures. According to many of the movie reviews, "The Prize Winner" is a true story about how her mother raised and supported her ten kids with all kinds of cash and prizes she won by entering commercial jingle-writing contests during the 1950s.

My personal movie review would be to add that this is also a story about an incredible woman who always saw the positive in everything in her life and that of her family's. This was her attitude even though she faced many hard struggles and challenges ranging from family economics to a degree of personal abuse. Through it all, the one thing she didn't struggle with was knowing she could succeed.

That positive outlook seemed so natural for her, when most of us would have had to make an effort to find the good under the same circumstances. This is particularly true as more about her story and very difficult life is unveiled. I don't want to give it all away….just like my coaching clients have "homework" – make it your homework to either read the book or see the movie.

For those of us who want to make a conscious effort to find the positive, I use Evelyn as an inspiration and ask myself "How would she look at this situation?" "What is the good that comes from this?" Sometimes, it takes awhile, but I've always been able to find something that was good; to respond from that place rather than from why is this so bad.

For example, a client started her last coaching session by telling me about a "difficult" interaction she had with a co-worker. This co-worker apparently took over control of a committee meeting that my client was supposed to be chairing. The co-worker then tried to assign my client all of the administrative tasks and downplayed her ability to handle any responsibility or visibility. My client was expressing to me how very upset she was at how she was treated. After she relayed the story, I asked her how "The Prize Winner" would have seen the situation. (Yes, she had watched the movie as part of her coaching homework.)

As she thought about it, she realized that everything turned out the way she desired. She wanted to pick the topic and speaker for an upcoming special meeting and had subsequently been assigned that task. She also desired visibility with senior management and ended up having a one-on-one interaction with her boss' boss after the meeting. This senior manager supported her and expressed that she liked all of the ideas and issues my client had raised during the meeting. So here she was spending all of this energy on the negatives of the meeting when in fact, she actually had a good, positive outcome!

My personal intention and goal is to change my habit of obsession about a negative and to look for and acknowledge the good, the positive. I've getting more successful with many minor situations and while I may not have it down as well as "The Prize Winner" did, I have noticed how consciously coming from the positive has lightened up and helped simplify my life.

I wonder . . . What would Evelyn say?!

Warmly, Linda

II. FIVE QUICK TIPS

1. Notice the times when you look at an event, situation, issues from a negative perspective. Feel that unique energy in your body. Notice how often the negative thought reoccurs in your mind.

2. Look at the negative thoughts you've been carrying. Ask yourself what good actually came from the situation. Ask yourself how "The Prize Winner" might have assessed the event, and reacted to it in a positive fashion.

3. Start with small things, things that might have been minor irritations in the past. Catch yourself before you go down the negative road and ask what positive outcomes might be present.

4. There are always going to be things that are outside of our control. Rather than that being a negative, just make it neutral. If it is something that is just "what is," then let it go.

5. Begin to live your life by simply remembering those two famous words; "Think Positive."

III. THEIR QUOTES

"For many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an addiction. It's a disease, like alcoholism, compulsive overeating, or drug abuse." - Peter McWilliams. Source: You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams

"Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory." - Norman Vincent Peale. Source: Positive Thinking Every Day by Norman Vincent Peale

"The yes-but person always manages to find a negative that outweighs any positives. Or dreams out improbable rationalizations to excuse an obvious negative. Yes-but people get in their own--and others'--way." - Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose Dewolf Source: The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make and How to Avoid : Simple and Sure Techniques for Gaining Greater Control of Your Life by Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose Dewolf

IV. REFERENCES

"Don't Sweat The Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff"
by Richard Carlson, Ph.D
Simple ways to keep the small things from taking over your life," Carlson's handbook reveals 100 ways to calm down in the midst of your incredibly hurried, stress-filled life.

"Happiness is a Choice"
by Barry Neil Kaufman
Barry Neil Kaufman, therapist, author, motivational speaker and founder of the Option Institute, has observed that despite disappointments, illnesses and physical and emotional problems, people who are most successful in finding happiness share certain traits. His shortcuts to happiness include: Make happiness the priority; accept your personal authenticity, the freedom to be yourself; let go of judgments and embrace people and situations; be present by learning to discard regrets about the past and worries about the future; be grateful by appreciating specific people and events, even during hard times; and decide to be happy by recognizing your capacity to choose your beliefs and feelings and taking responsibility for your responses to people and situations. (From the book jacket.)

"The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio"
by Terry Ryan
The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio introduces Evelyn Ryan, an enterprising woman who kept poverty at bay with wit, poetry, and perfect prose during the "contest era" of the 1950s and 1960s. Evelyn's winning ways defied the church, her alcoholic husband, and antiquated views of housewives. Graced with a rare appreciation for life's inherent hilarity, Evelyn turned every financial challenge into an opportunity for fun and profit. The story of this irrepressible woman, is told by her daughter Terry with an infectious joy that shows how a winning spirit will always triumph over poverty. (Amazon.com Book Description)

To find more references, go to Self-Help Books.

Linda Manassee Buell is a full-time Personal and Business Coach and Consultant through her company Simplify Life.

Linda is the author of the tips booklet, "Simplify Your Life, 101 Ways to Create the Life You Love," the audiotape, "Simplify Your Life, 7 Simple Strategies for Doing What You Love to Do," and the workbook, "Simplify Your Life: A Journey of Personal Discovery," and has published the second edition of her book, "Panic and Anxiety Disorder, 121 Tips, Real-life Advice, Resources & More."

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