Making Lives Simpler - Free email Newsletter

Practical News and Tips
for Living the Life
You Truly Desire

In This Issue:

I. Action Versus Reaction

II. Five Quick Tips

III. Their Quotes

IV. References

V. Resources

I. ACTION VERSUS REACTION

(Padres baseball shortstop Khalil Green) “ran down a glove-side grounder, made a spinning leap and threw a strike to first baseman (Adrian) Gonzalez before landing on the outfield grass," reported the sports section of the San Diego Union-Tribune.

"It definitely is amazing that he makes it," Gonzalez said.  Padres' center fielder Mike Cameron followed with, "I know he can do those things. He's one of the best shortstops I've seen."

It isn't unusual for Padre baseball fans to see a quote of Greene's highlight reel type plays in the sports section of the paper. The quotes above were from the May 23, 2007 edition after one of Greene's signature spinning leap throws. I've personally enjoyed watching him for the last few years, and I must say he is simply amazing.

Following the game, the Padres team were anticipating sharing the enjoyment of seeing that remarkable play again as one of ESPN's select outstanding sports highlights. However, the play didn't make their prime time show.

The team was upset, the fans were upset, and even other sports interested people who don't follow baseball were upset. Khalil wasn't getting the acknowledgement he truly deserved from the sports world.

The only person who wasn't upset was Khalil himself!

He said that it was OK with him. His next comment, I feel, gave us the real insight into his true nature and character when he said about his play in the game, "I'm in it for the 'action' not the 'reaction.'"

I savored this quote as I kept reading it over and over.

We joke in San Diego that it would be fun to see Greene actually "crack a smile" every now and then when he makes a great play. In a world where so many sports figures are proving they are not very good role models, this 28-year old is unassuming, quiet, practices hard, and plays harder. When the local paper was filled with disappointment because he wasn't an ESPN highlight, it didn’t matter to him at all.

I've now told this story and related his phrase many times to my clients and my family and friends. What powerful words - "I'm in it for the 'action' not the 'reaction.'"

It doesn't matter if you are a baseball fan, or if you know anything at all about baseball. Here is a someone who;

• Truly loves the work he does,
• Works very hard perfecting his craft,
• Doesn't look outside himself for approval,
• Is a great role model.

Since his words came into my life, I have asked myself many times "am I in it for the action -- or the reaction?" Asking that question can totally change the nature of the situation. I can go from being caught up in the outcomes to being calm in the moment. I can make better choices and say no to things where I might just be looking for a response. I can shift a situation, a project, a meeting or even a speech to not be attached to the outcomes. Asking the question reminds me to stay focused on the work I really love to do.

It isn't just activities where the question comes in handy. Have you every found yourself saying something in a conversation "for the reaction?" For example, I know I've sat in on many many meetings where if seemed like people were speaking up, not because they had anything new to contribute, but simply to be heard. Did they need a "reaction" in their life?

What do you do for the accolades versus the joy? What do you do to get "reactions?" If accolades are a natural outcome – great. However, my guess is that many of us hope, expect, and wait for that note of appreciation or acknowledgement.
 
So - do I write this newsletter for the action or the reactions? After 11 years of writing, I can definitely say, it’s for the "action." The reason the newsletter has never been on a "schedule" is so that I can write when I feel I have something to say. I can write about topics I want to explore and talk about more. I can write when my heart tells me it is time.

I will admit that I enjoy hearing from some of you on occasion when an issue from the newsletter catches your attention in some way. It's fun. Most times, I don't hear from anyone. I'm just sending my thoughts out to the Universe and letting the Universe decide the outcomes.

Now if I could just apply action versus reaction to my golf game!

As Hank Aaron said, "It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course!"

Hey! I can play like Hank Aaron!

Warmly,

II. FIVE QUICK TIPS

1.  Leave a gap of time between another person's action and your own reaction. That way you can act more consciously and make sure your actions are aligned with your character.

2. Most people don't actively listen during a conversation. They usually are preparing their response or are distracted in some other way. Try active (action) listening without considering your own response (reaction) and see what changes.

3. Let go of activities that don't give you joy. It's better to say thanks, but no thanks, than forcing yourself to do something. When you force yourself into action, you tend to be even more attached to hearing some positive reaction.

4. Remember people "watch" your actions and reactions more than they "listen" to your advice – especially kids. Are your deeds and your words aligned? When you start giving advice, make sure it is something you are doing yourself.

5. When you’re playing sports, think about your participation. See if being in for the ‘action’ is more rewarding than the ‘reaction’ for you too!

III. THEIR QUOTES

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elizabeth Kubler Ross. Source: famous-quotes-and-quotations.com
                 
"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out." -Thomas Babington Macaulay 
Source: motivationalcentral.com/quotes-character.html

"Hero-worship is mostly idol gossip." –Anonymous.  Source: 60000quotes.com

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." -Ralph Waldo Emerson Source: 60000quotes.com

IV. REFERENCES

From the back cover: "Nothing can be more important than being able to choose the way we think - our feelings aspirations, and desires, the way we view our world and ourselves. Mastery of the mind opens avenues of hope. It means that we can begin to reshape our life and character, rebuild relationships, thrive in the stress of daily living, become the kind of person we want ourselves to be. Conquest of Mind provides practical tools and tips to enable you to refashion your mind and character."

To find more references, go to Self-Help Books.

IV. RESOURCES

Hypnosis Audio Downloads
The Power of Hypnosis is now available from the privacy of your own computer.
The downloads listed below have all carefully crafted by professional hypnotherapist educators with proven track records. Just click on the title below and order now for only $12.95 per download - with discounts for multiple purchases!

Improve Concentration and Focus
Create powerful focus and concentration and improve your performance at work and in sports! Imagine it - the ability to focus 110% on what you want to achieve - whether it's at work or in sports - that same state of mind that took Carl Lewis to so many Olympic Golds. Psychologists have called this state flow, and peak performers in all walks of life can access it when they want.

Insecurity In Your Relationships
Insecurity in relationships happens to everyone at some time, but when it is a constant visitor, life can become pretty difficult. Nagging thoughts about the other person, jealousy perhaps, pessimism about your long-term prospects with your partner - all these are common side effects. How would it feel to expect the best from your relationships? Get rid of this old problem - or even reduce it by 50%, and enjoy a wonderful, energy-freeing achievement.

Golf - The Perfect Swing
So many people let excess emotion such as anxiety or anger at themselves totally sabotage the state of flow needed to produce the perfect golf swing. To make the most of your current golfing abilities you also need the right mind set. A calm focused mind enhances your swing no matter what the conditions or who you are playing. When your mind is resolutely focused all other distractions fade away. During your swing there is only now - past and future disappear.

Linda Manassee Buell is a full-time Personal and Business Coach and Consultant through her company Simplify Life.

Linda is the author of the tips booklet, "Simplify Your Life, 101 Ways to Create the Life You Love," the audiotape, "Simplify Your Life, 7 Simple Strategies for Doing What You Love to Do," and the workbook, "Simplify Your Life: A Journey of Personal Discovery," and has published the second edition of her book, "Panic and Anxiety Disorder, 121 Tips, Real-life Advice, Resources & More."

To order your personal copy of any of the above by check or credit card, just click here.

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The contents herein are solely the opinions of Simplify Life and Linda Manassee Buell.

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