Making Lives Simpler - Free email Newsletter

Practical News and Tips
for Living the Life
You Truly Desire

In This Issue:

I. Should You Make New Year's Resolutions?

II. Their Quick Tips

III. Their Quotes

IV. References

I. SHOULD YOU MAKE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

The Costco Connection, a monthly magazine for Costco members of which I am an executive member and big fan, has a regular feature called "Informed Debate." They present 2 experts with their views on a selected topic each month. One supports the "Yes" side of the question; the other supports the "No" viewpoint. There are also some members who weigh in with their comments and an opportunity for everyone to vote for their choice. Topics are generally along the headier lines of "Should Supreme Court Justices Have Life Tenure?" or "Is the New Bankruptcy Law Fair?"

In the December issue, however, the topic was "Should People Make New Year's Resolutions?" My first thought was, when did making New Year's resolutions become such an important issue to debate? It certainly didn't seem to me to have as much substance as the subjects of past issues.

I was curious to see who the experts were for each side of the topic and found that I actually knew one of the two fairly well. The other, I didn't know, however, he did have respectable credentials.

After reading the article, I found good tips on both sides of the argument. (In fact, I’ve included some of their ideas in the tip section that follows.)

So "Should people make New Year's resolutions?" I say both yes and no! What I believe is for you as an individual to do what is right for you. What I'm hoping is that after reading any article, newsletter, or newspaper that you are able to listen to your inner voice and decide what's best for you. That you are able to pick the tips, the actions, and the direction that works for you.

Beginning in childhood, we have been programmed to live our lives based on others' definitions of "acceptable behaviors." These behaviors affect everything we do from the school we attend, the job we have, the clothes we wear, the way we treat others, our health habits, and more. The focus is "outside of ourselves" as we continually check to see if we've done the right thing and how we will be judged. It affects how we feel about ourselves, our stress levels, and whether we value ourselves.

It may feel like you are "bucking the system." However, life actually does get simpler when you start coming from your own self-referral. Self-referral is when you are able to discern your own desires and actually act on them. When you start saying, "yes" to the things you want in your life and "no" to things you don't. This isn't always an easy process. You have to let go of how others define acceptable behaviors to be able to do what is right for you at the right time.

As for New Year's resolutions, decide for yourself if you want to make them and even when you want to make them. It can be a "First Day of Summer Resolution" or a "Today is Just the Day" resolution! Simply begin setting some time getting to know yourself and choose what you want to have in your life.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season and a New Year filled with self-referral and simplicity.

Warmly,

Linda

II. THEIR QUICK TIPS

(Taken from the December 2005 issue of Costco Connection, page 15)

1. "Choose a theme, not a specific goal. Rather than identifying a specific result you wish to achieve, choose one or two general words to describe your next year. Examples of themes would be "service," "flow," "travel," and "friendship."

2. "Remain open to changes in direction. Themes are not set in stone. If the theme you chose isn't working for you, change it." - Stephen M. Shapiro, author of Goal-Free Living.

3. "It takes a lot more than making a list to get results. Language is an important part of how we make lifestyle changes. As we repeat what we want, we cement into our brains and program our mental computer to help achieve it."

4. "The words we use to (make changes) make a difference in our results. Generally, no one uses the word 'resolve.' The words need to mean something to you and you are more apt to hear 'commitment,' 'excellence' and 'mission' in contemporary workplaces and goal-oriented programs."

5. "Give (resolutions) up like you did your typewriter and rotary phone. Party and be merry, then take two aspirins before bed and wake up when you are really ready to make long-lasting change." - Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Take Yourself to the Top and Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction.

III. THEIR QUOTES

"He who can see both sides of an argument is missing something." - Idries Shah, 20th Century Sufi. Source: Uncommon Knowledge, Inspirational quotes.

"I once listed all the good things I did over the past year, and then turned them into resolution form and backdated them. That was a good feeling." - Robert Fulghum, 20th Century minister and author. Source: Uncommon Knowledge, Inspirational quotes.

"You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures." - Charles C. Noble. Source: goal-setting-guide.com

"Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals." – Aristotle. Source: goal-setting-guide.com

"If you are content with yourself, you'll stop taking those little steps forward and begin taking big steps backward." - Greg Maddux, American baseball pitcher Source: Uncommon Knowledge, Inspirational quotes.

IV. REFERENCES

Wherever You Go There You Are:
Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Kabat-Zinn blends stories, anecdotes, poems, images, and scientific observations with easily followed instructions in the art of "capturing" the present and living fully within each moment in order to achieve inner peace.

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy
by Sarah Ban Breathnach
Daily thoughts and insights on getting in touch with your authentic self. This practical, inspirational daily guide provides a meditation or exercise for every day of the year to help pare down our lives and clear through mental clutter. Breathnach's Daybook features 366 essays penned from a woman's perspective.

To find more references, go to Self-Help Books.

Linda Manassee Buell is a full-time Personal and Business Coach and Consultant through her company Simplify Life.

Linda is the author of the tips booklet, "Simplify Your Life, 101 Ways to Create the Life You Love," the audiotape, "Simplify Your Life, 7 Simple Strategies for Doing What You Love to Do," and the workbook, "Simplify Your Life: A Journey of Personal Discovery," and has published the second edition of her book, "Panic and Anxiety Disorder, 121 Tips, Real-life Advice, Resources & More."

To order your personal copy of any of the above by check or credit card, just click here.

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The contents herein are solely the opinions of Simplify Life and Linda Manassee Buell.

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