Self-Help Tip of The Week - Samples
HAPPINESS
HAPPINESS: What is happiness? According to Chuang-tzu, "Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness." The key word here is striving. Happiness cannot be the goal, otherwise we will always be striving. Happiness is the by-product of a balanced life. If we look for it in our accomplishments and acquisitions, it will always be elusive.
THIS WEEK: Take a daily inventory. You'll probably have no problem listing your moments of frustration and unhappiness, but write down the moments when you feel happy, peaceful and content. Observe how they present themselves to you vs. striving for them.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
-Helen Keller
TRYING
TRYING: Does this sound familiar? "I try so hard to have more patience." Or how about, "I've tried for years to____. You can fill in the blank with your own trying experiences. I have some good news. You don't need to try so hard anymore! The harder you try, the more you're creating resistance to following your natural process. Trying too hard is a red flag that indicates to us that in some way, we're at cross-purposes with ourselves. Trying is also like being on a treadmill-that is, when we're trying to do something we're not actually doing it. We just continue to try to do it and never really get anywhere.
THIS WEEK: Try really hard to…(just kidding). Watch for areas in which you find yourself trying too hard. Really look at them. Write them down. Take a step back. Give yourself permission to just stop trying. See if you discover something about yourself in the space that you've created by not trying.
"Sometimes it takes great effort to discover that life was meant to be effortless."
-Anonymous
SETTLING
SETTLING: The idea that we may be settling for something less than what we desire or feel we deserve can be very painful. But what makes settling so damaging is our avoidance of admitting it and bringing it into full awareness. It's the denial and not facing the fact that we feel we've settled for less that perpetuates it.
THIS WEEK: Even though this will probably be an uncomfortable exercise, write down the ways you feel you've settled, and don't deny the pain. If you do this exercise without denying any of your feelings, you will begin to see some light at the end of this self-created tunnel.
"The thing to do with feelings is to make it safe to feel all of them."
-Robyn Posin
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